Face Palm Friday: The Soju

Today’s Face Palm Friday is brought to you by Jinro and Merriam Webster.

SOJU: Korean vodka distilled usually from rice or sweet potato

Origin of SOJU: Korea: First Known Use: 1978

SOJU Mixers: Beer, orange, plum juice, cider, tonic water, Powerade, Gatorade (or whatever else is available)

Consumption of SOJU: Ajooshees

  

        The weekend is here and so as an expat in Korea you are bound to see something similar to this at least once before Monday morning:

And if you are really really lucky you may even run into a Kung-Fu Monk who teaches you a few moves such as drunken tiger, tipsy turtle, and my favorite addled ajooshee.

But this is normal. Soju is as much a part of Korean culture as apple pie, capitalism and concealed racism is a part of American culture. Therefore these ajooshees do not get the FacePalm.  But this:

is absolutely ridiculous. Yes I am being totally biased. I’m not even gonna touch on the fact that the subway floor is filled with the stench of vomit and (insert other body excretion of choice). How can you be thousands of miles away from home, from family, from friends, from anyone who really truly cares about your well being and allow yourself to get this fucked messed up? Come on people, we gotta be smarter than this. So I end this very  short post hoping you all have a good weekend and remember if you drink The SOJU:

BE SMART, BE SURE, BE SAFE BE SOJU

 

The Friend Zone

"The story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent."

I have a cat named 친구. (Chingu) which is Korean for friend (see top right hand corner). The other day my date, Dude, paid more attention to her than me. The minute Dude walked in the door Chingu was licking her lips and rubbing her booty all over him. Love at first sight it seemed. So he responded accordingly by picking her up and stroking her ever so gently. I myself, don't recall getting any type of stroking during the movie as I sat on on my side of a 5inch futon and the two lovebirds sat on their side. How on earth does one compete with a cat? I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should change her  name to 걸레(Geolle) which is slang for whore.

Twenty minutes into the movie I realized that I had somehow entered the dreaded friend zone which is somewhere between the twilight and the abyssal zones. 

Once you are in, there is no coming out.There is no wondrous journey whose boundaries are that of imagination. It was plain and simple, my charms had indeed failed to impress Dude. But don't worry, yours truly didn’t get down or start to doubt herself. I simply did what one does in these types of situations. I lied was honest with myself. Would this really work? Eh, as far as I am concerned I put Dude in the friend zone first. 

And to prove this lie fact to myself Dude, I started my night time ritual.Yup, I spent the entire movie drinking my wine, twisting and braiding my hair. You see when a woman puts a guy in the friend zone; she no longer cares how she looks around him. So my new ‘friend’ saw me looking like Miss Celie from The Color Purple.

Now I don’t feel miserable and/or think that I’ll be single forever with 10 cats bad about being put in the friend zone nor am I'm secretly trying to escape. (Simply because escaping is impossible)

These days, especially living in Korea we could all use a good chingu. After all my friends are the only ones who actually read my blog. Speaking of which, ‘Hey there Dude! I hope after reading this post things aren’t too awkward the next time we go on a date hangout.’

I've put many guys in the friend zone and so it seems inevitable that it would happen to me as well. The problem was, since I am used to giving out 'friend zone' signals rather than recieving them, I failed to notice two obvious signs that shall never again go unobserved. So if any of these things happen to you, know that you too have entered the friend zone.

1.      In person conversation was great and plans were made but in between dates hangouts there were no flirty texts or late night phone calls.

2.      One time while saying goodbye, I flirted (or at least attempted to) and he…..wait for it…........patted me on the shoulder as I walked off.

3.  As if to make sure I got the point, he told me via Skype that he likes me and so he hopes we remain friends...maybe forever. (Yes, the friend zone is quite similar to a black hole as well)

                                          
Yea, yea do have a good laugh at Lexi’s expense but remember to always
                        BeAware of the friend zone.

       

Bung Bung Drink

I've been busy so instead of my weekly post, enjoy another silly video made by my students. (P.S. if you didn't already know please, know that my students are better than your students.Thank you!)